May 28, 2009

Sorry...

I'm so sorry to end ICLW on this note, but I am soooo f'n po'ed. UGH! Why do people insist on treating infertile people like we will break if we hear something that is hard on THEM? I just found out that Jesse's sister is going to a baby shower on Sunday for her best friend, right. No biggie, except for the fact that his WHOLE family knew and no one told me and the kicker is this friend has been doing my hair up until March when I decided I didn't like the way she's been cutting it. (Maybe she was cutting it bad, so that I'd leave and NEVER find out that she had a baby!)

Seriously people! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think I'm so stupid that when I see Stefanie lugging around a kid I won't think that it's hers? I mean come on. I expect this from "friends," but family. I guess there's no one you can trust except others that are going through this experience.

It's so frustrating that people keep things from you like this because they don't think we can handle it, when the funny part is THEY are the ones who can't handle it. Then they stop inviting you to things and drop off the face of the earth and make it seem like it's because you did something. I wish people would just face the truth and handle the truth, I'm so pissed right now, I can barely stand it.

Here's the God honest truth (because some people are too slow to get this):
  • I will survive finding out you or someone we know is pregnant, I have for the last five years and it just makes me stronger
  • When I find out after the fact or that you've been keeping it from me because you are worried for me, I worry for you because I might just choke you
  • I won't harm your children after they are born, so you can hang around me
  • I won't cause you to suffer from infertility, so you can hang around me
  • I need friends, but I'm learning I have VERY few!

I'm so sorry to end a great week of meeting new friends and sharing wonderful stories, but so goes the life of an infertile, just when you think you've experienced it all...BAM! Someone shocks the hell out you! Thanks for listening, I'm going to go meditate and relax. Sad part is I found this out coming home from a very stress relieving workout. Jesse is the one who told me and I think he's even more upset!!! UGH!

13 comments:

just me, dawn said...

sending you a big hug, people just don't get it, and i guess if a loss is what makes people get it, i am glad that few do....but damn, it would be nice for people to just do the right thing.
hang in there!

tomi said...

*HUGS*

That is what I don't get about people, either they keep shoving it in our faces and hide away as if we are lepers. Sensitivity, is it too much to ask?

oops it turned into a rant. *HUG*

iclw

Christina said...

I'm sorry!

Ashley said...

I"m sorry!! ((HUGS))

Meant to be a mom said...

I know what you mean. Its like they have these hard core kid gloves on when talking to you. Keeping things from you isn't protecting you. Thats not right and it just hurts worse when you find out.

In Due Time said...

I know what you mean. ((Hugs))

Jaclyn said...

Yuck. I hate when this kind of crap happens. Some people will just never "get it". Hang in there!

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry, Michelle. I know, it's like all or nothing sometimes! I wish people would realize that we'd like to be treated like normal -- which includes not being totally avoided! Grrr.

Jamie said...

Oh, Michelle. I'm so sorry that your friends and family continue to hurt your feelings. I hope they read your blog and see how their behavior affects you.
I pray for you and Jesse. You will be a fabulous mother.

Dagny said...

(((big giant hug)))

I'm sorry. :(

Jules said...

Michelle, OMG I feel the same way. I get so tired of people with child making the choice to put me on the outside because they think they know what is best for me. F That. Just know this your true friends and family that loves you will not do that to you. If there is one thing I have realized in life is that a person really finds out who their true friends/family are in low times. Stay strong and keep in touch. I really enjoyed reading your message on my blog. Thank you.

Mimi said...

Oh honey! I am so sorry you had to deal with that horse crap! The same thing happens to me too. Little do they know that we are really stong people for going through all of this. Just brush it off your shoulders honey! Hey, I want to know where you live because we may live close and we should do lunch or dinner one day!

Kami

Amber said...

so sorry to hear