May 14, 2009

Fair Weather Friends

Okay, I've been living with this since Mother's Day and it's killing me! On Mother's Day, one of the hardest days for a woman who is ttc, I (trying to be a good person/friend) sent a text to two of my friends who had babies in the last year. I just said, "Happy 1st Mother's Day. Miss you, love you!"

I sent it after church and was starting to get annoyed that NEITHER one of them sent anything in return. Jesse, however, kept telling me they might be busy. However, by the time we left his parents' house at 10, I realized that they were not going to respond. I then started to think that my phone wasn't working. I had to call a friend to find out something for work the next day and I texted instead to see if it would go through or not. By the time I had reached the top of the steps, she already had texted me back.

I stewed about it all the next day and thought about sending both of them a did you get my text email. But the more I thought of it, why? These friends obviously didn't respond because they didn't know what to say to poor, pitiful, childless Michelle. However, a thank you, miss you or thinking of you response would have been acceptable.

I'm so sick of fair weather friends and people who shun you because it's hard on them! One of these friends we have only seen the baby once in 9 months. Not to our lack of trying, we have offered to come over, go out to dinner, go to the zoo and never get a response back. I've realized they don't want to do anything with us because it makes it hard on THEM! Seriously. This is the only reason I can think of. I find it so annoying and so hurtful. It just really irritates me. I'm so sick of fair weather friends! Okay, I'm done...Thanks for listening!


Jaclyn said...

yuck. Sorry about that! I found it kind of odd too, that only one friend said anything about Mother's Day to me. Yes, we just had a miscarriage, and have been trying for 2, long, stinkin' years, but could you please aknowledge the fact that I was a mom, if even only for a few short weeks? Oh well...I guess people don't know how to deal with IF/loss unless they've been through it. I hope your friend comes around...maybe it's just been a hard transition into motherhood on her? Hang in there!

Dagny said...


I'm sorry hun. :(

People suck sometimes.


Christina said...

Well, I will answer for them:

Thank you and YOU'RE NEXT!

dawn said...

i'm sorry. :( i think many of us went through the same exact thing.

i have one very very fair weather friend that i have decided to distance myself from. not because of mother's day, but because she is never there for her friends when we need her. i e-mailed her to let her know of the mc, and she didn't respond. at all. so i DID send a "did you get my e-mail" message and THEN she said "oh yeah, i suck, so sorry for your loss". another friend LOST HER CHILD in delivery and this fair weather friend did not come to the funeral. when we went to her wedding, she then wanted to mourn w/those parents...five months later. on her terms. when SHE was ready. it's terrible.

BB said...

Sorry to hear about your situation. I feel like I pretty much have been through what you are going through... however hard it is, I am trying to accept the fact that I can not control how other people (including very close (?) friends) behave (insensetive, irrational, distant) with me especially with IF. It sucks!