Jan 23, 2010

So, She Did It!

Things have been so crazy recently that I haven't posted about my sister. Right after Christmas, she found out she got the job she wanted in California. She would start working on January 25. Well, January 25th is Monday. That means she left. She flew out this morning.

I have been in denial about it since finding out. I think my strategy was if I don't think about it, it's not happening and it can't hurt me. But the fact is yesterday night I had to face it. She was leaving this morning.

My sister and I have always had a up and down relationship. We fight, but we also get along like no one else and understand each other like no one else could. My wish has always been that she and I would one day become the best friend I know we could be for eachother. I feel alone. She is gone and I hope with all hope that even though we will have a HUGE distance between us physically, we will bridge that gap emotionally.

I'm happy for her to be living her dreams, but I can't help but sit here and bawl as I write this. My brother left last February and now my sister is gone. I feel like I'm the only one "holding down the fort."

I wish her nothing but the best and will miss her more than words can say.

Jan 20, 2010

Okay Girls...I Need Some Help!

So, I emailed our RE to see what her insight about the embryo adoption was and if she would be able to be the one to do the process with us. She informed me that the process I would have to go through would be a FET, which I figured. She told me that she would recommend bloodwork and a check up to make sure my body is doing all it's supposed to. This is what the adoption agency requires as well, so no biggie there. Then she said she would prescribe estradiol pills to "create a normal uterine lining". She said this works better than a natural cycle and actually requires LESS monitoring. They would monitor typically with a blood test after one week on medication. If the level is good, we would continue and bring me back for an ultrasound and second blood test a week later. If all looks well, we set a time for the transfer and tell me when to start your progesterone. The we do the transfer and continue the medication until you find out if you're pregnant. If it works, you will need some support until about 10 weeks of pregnancy.

Of course she didn't answer my NUMBER 1 question...How much?

This all seems status quo, but my question to you guys is does anyone have any experience with the estradiol pills? How much do they run? Side-effects? I have been super busy at work this week...Report card weekend, dun, dun, dun. So, I'll be doing all my researching as soon as that's all done.

The RE said their success rate was 50%, but she's not sure what ours would be because she's not sure what bank the agency will get the embryos from...MOre research for me.

As of right now, embryo adoption seems wonderful and I can't believe that through all of this, I might just be able to carry our baby and become the mom I've always dreamed of. Somebody pinch me!

Jan 16, 2010

We Made the First of Many Steps!

So...we went to the adoption meeting at Bethany on Tuesday. It was much more emotional than I expected. I think for so long I've been a research queen. Finding out information on everyone else's adoption journey, what adoption entails, what to expect, what to ask...the list goes on and on and on. However, Tuesday wasn't about reading about other's lives, it was about experiencing our first step.

There were about 15 other couples there. Many a few years older than us, but there were a few couples around about our age. I couldn't help but look at the others with a little sort of competition, thinking we could be "competing" for the same child. I then tried to hurry that thought out of my mind as fast as it came in, but I honestly couldn't help it.

The meeting began with a lot of the information I already knew because of all my research. However, I did learn that after the birth in my county, there is the dreaded 3-5 week waiting period until you go to court to have the birthmother relinquish all rights. That's a long time!!! That scared the living daylights out of me.

We watched a video that the birthmothers see and that was emotional. They had a few young birthmoms and one birthfather share how hard the hospital stay was. All I could think watching that video was those people are truly the most unselfish and loving people! All I could think was pregnancy and having a baby are the only things I want more in this life and here they are experiencing it and making an adoption plan for their baby because they want only the best for them! Whew! Those are some amazing people.

The ending was the most emotional. They played this song! Let me give you some backstory. The man who wrote and sings this song, Mark Schultz, was adopted. A woman asked him once what he would say if he ever met his birthmom. He said he would have nothing to say to her because she gave him up. The woman then told him that his birthmom had 3 choices when she found out she was pregnant...1) abort him, 2) carry him and keep him, knowing full well he wouldn't have the life he deserved or 3) make an adoption plan, give him to a family that could provide for him and do the most unselfish thing she could ever imagine.

This song is about if he were to meet his birthmom and how he would thank her and what he would say to her. I bawled watching this. See if you can make it without tears...

We now know we will be going through Bethany, but they offered us one more option we are considering. Embryo adoption. I am in the process of doing what I do best...RESEARCH! But we know now we are on the path to adoption, we just haven't decided if we will be doing domestic infant or embryo adoption. I'll keep you posted! Thanks for all your support and encouragement, it means the world!