Feb 2, 2009

To go or not go...That is the question

So, I'm in a little bit of a predicament...My husband's cousin is pregnant (well he's not, but his wife is), of course who isn't, and her baby shower is in 2 lovely weeks. I was planning on going because you don't pass up a chance to get an A+ in karma, you know if you go, maybe this will be the month God smiles down on you. So I told my mom-in-law I'd be there. However, after my lovely day yesterday...I'm not sure I'm going to feel up for the stupid comments. You know, "Jamie and Tim have only been married for a little less than a year, you and Jess have been married for over 5. When are you going to have little ones." To which I will probably want to answer with, "Because I eat children for lunch, you idiot!"

But seriously, I have been to so many baby showers and feel like I don't know if I'll be able to compose myself for this one. It's so hard to sit through those and especially right now. I hate to say I judge whose showers I go to, but I don't think I want to sit through this one. Does that make me a bad person? Will that mean 6 more months of the dreaded infertility? Or do I suck it up, put on my best game face and show them all I can handle it? I just don't know what to do...Do I go and hope for karma's good graces or stay home and mope and feel sorry for myself? I don't know...I guess we'll see...


Mimi said...

I think you should go. I know it is so hard but it will make you the bigger person. You will also feel better that you did! Good luck honey. You will make the right decision.


Dagny said...

you are brave for going to ANY in the past. as an infertile, since I found that out I refuse to set foot near anything baby related. Even my own family...(mind you in my defense my family sucks and you can't have anything to do with them...LOL)

I say do whatever YOU want. If you think you can handle it...sure. Go. But if not, then do not make yourself go and then suffer. most T's will say that when you are having troubles in the ttc department you have to do what keeps you sane. Not what others want.

Good luck with whatever you do.


Cioci Les said...

You do what you feel like doing that morning. If you think you can handle it, by all means go. I know that Dziadz is trying his hardest to make your dreams come true. When he puts his mind to something, you know there is no stopping him. I Love You!!!!
Cioci Les.

Christina said...

OK, so here are a bunch of snarky and nonsnarky responses for you when you get asked the "when are you going to get pregnant" question if you do decide to go to the shower:

I don't ask about your sex life.
If I could be pregnant, I would be.
I'm actually a man.
There are currently mice renting out my uterus, and I'm waiting for their lease to expire.
Just stare at them and don't say anything.
When you give me the money to pay the expenses that come with a child.
We don't have sex.
As soon as they find a "cure" for Global Warming. I don't want my child to sweat to death.
My husband and I can't figure out which hole to stick it in.
You're husband is still married (meaning you want his children).
Let me ask you this first, when you were trying to get pregnant, what was your position of choice? I like to take it (insert position here).
When my can vibrator can excrete semen.
I'm not going to give birth. I lurk in the maternity wing looking to steal an unattended infant.
We're doing the best we can.
We're trying, but it's a little harder for us.
Not yet, but hopefully soon.
When God blesses us.
We shall see.
Whenever it happens.
It's not easy for everyone.
I've looked all over for that baby, have you seen it yet?
As soon as someone hands us one.
Nah, we decided we'd rather get a puppy, less work.
We try every night. Sometimes twice.

Hope this helps. I understand why you wouldn't want to go at all and it is totally your choice so I just wanted to provide some ammunition in case you do decide to go. I am happy to say that I know better than to ask this question because as some of the snarky responses indicate, it is a very private subject… OK, let us know what you decide..

Kirsten said...

Oh Shell...I wish I had a concrete answer for you. You know I pray for you guys every night and I'm a FIRM believer that things happen or don't happen for a reason and whatever those reasons are, are in God's hands, so there is a reason somewhere! You & Jesse are are so strong and you deserve this more than anyone I know, and when it happens...we ALL know it gonna be absolutely wonderful and PERFECT! It's hard not to look at everyone else & judge their status or situation, but that's what we do...we're women & we're human! So, if you don't want to go...don't. I'm sure they will understand and if not, then too bad. Shame on them. They are you're feelings and you have every right to them. If you do go, you know you are a strong person, but if you break down, for God sakes Shell....it's ok, they will understand. We are ALL here for you & we will ALL help you through this! You guys have been through a TON with this fertility and I know you feel like its going nowhere, but I know you way too well...and I know you will NOT give up without a fight...and I know you're NOT going to give up! This means WAY too much to the both of you, as a couple, and as a family! I know you will make the right decision, you always do. Just know I love you & I'm ALWAYS here for you!