Feb 14, 2009

Thank Goodness it's Break Time!

Well, I made it to mid-winter break!! YEY! This week seems like it has been NON stop. We had conferences and all this other jazz going on... Publishing party, Valentine's party. Ahhh! Now I have the next 9 days off! WHOOOO HOOOO!

So, an update...The shower is tomorrow. I think I have decided to go. I'm still a little uneasy about it, I'm sure there will be tears flowing later in the day, but we'll see. I am looking at it as it will only make me stronger. I feel like when I finally do get pregnant, I'll be able to have the title SuperWOman! I'll let you know how it goes.

I got a little annoyed on Tuesday. I went to play volleyball with friends of a friend. I don't really want to "be on the team," I like being able to say, yes I can play, no I can't. Especially during the school year, there's just so much. Anyway. One of the ladies asked if I could join the team. I told her that I couldn't because in the fall I help coach Utica's team. She said so you could in the winter? I said possibly. I'm so bad at telling people no! She goes on to tell me that the reason is Rachel won't be playing in the winter. So I didn't say anything and Rachel informs me that she will be pregnant and due in March. Well, I just stood there thinking, "wow, that's one LONG pregnancy." When Rachel continues that she and her husband are planning to have their second baby next March-ish time.

Now, I know that these people have NO idea what I'm going through, but I just stood there thinking in my head, "Must be freakin NICE!" Rachel goes on to say, "I'm a planner!" I think I just smiled at that point because no words besides "UGHHH!" were going through my head at this point. But seriously, I'm a "planner" too. I didn't "plan" on God giving me this long wait and I truly don't understand why some of us are the "chosen" ones. I mean seriously, must be freakin nice! I couldn't help but think in the car, "No, I can't play because I too will have a baby next winter, if not before." But I went home took a hot shower and went to bed. Trying to forget those words that Rachel said, but they have haunted me the rest of the night and obviously until this point now.

I'm really trying to have a more upbeat feel on everything...I found out my infection in my uterus is gone. So, YEY! I can eat again and she gave us the true blessing to REALLY start trying. Little does she know we NEVER stopped!! I'm on supplements that are for trying to conceive and we go to the acupuncturist again on Monday. SO, yes, things are looking up. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but every new cycle starts a new hope. Regardless of how many times it hasn't happened! So, for now, I'm pretty positive waiting for that great peak of fertility. I guess we'll just wait and see...


Mimi said...

People like that frustrate me. Just tell yourself, she will not appreciate her child nearly as much as you will!!! And you definitely are a stronger woman!!


Christina said...

I totally agree with Kami. That is great advice.