Jul 29, 2011

Break the Chain...Or Cycle

I don't know if I've posted about this before, but I am a HUGE Housewives fan!  I love Housewives of New Jersey, Orange County, Beverly Hills and my fave--NEW YORK!  I started watching a few seasons back and fell in love with Bethenny Frankel.  I loved her sarcasm and honesty.  She was hilarious.  So, it was no surprise that I would start watching Bethenny Getting Married and Bethenny Ever After...Yes, I am a HUGE reality tv junkie!

Recently she came out with a new book, A Place of Yes, and I got it from the library.

 I was curious what she had to say.

I just finished Chapter One, entitled, Break the Chain and I just felt compelled to blog about it.  In this chapter she spoke about your upbringing and the things that happen to you growing up or in life don't have to define you.  You don't have to follow the way things were, you can chose to take the good and leave the bad.  You also have the right to Break the Chain when you are leaving the bad.  This struck a HUGE cord with me because Jesse and I have been talking a lot about breaking the cycle in both of our families.

I don't think I've ever mentioned anything about our family, but we are a close knit family that has our issues.  We both love our families dearly and had a great childhood, but there are things that we want to break the cycle with our children and our family.  We have spoken about this since we started seeing our counselor.

Many times it's not easy to break the cycle.  You fall into routines, rituals, or dances (as our wise counselor calls them.)  You have to be aware of the things that you do and the way the things you say or do effect other people.  Very frequently, in my family, people will say things in the heat of the moment and think that with a simple apology it makes it all better.  But as much as I would love to say "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me," is true...it's not!  Words DO hurt.  They stick with you.  They are hard to forget, but in breaking the cycle, I chose to leave that behind.

It takes a very conscience effort to break the cycles of families, but my love for my future children and my husband outweigh ANY obstacles breaking the cycle will bring.  I know I have had moments and will have moments that I won't be able to break the cycle.   I will say things that hurt people, but I also know that just apologizing doesn't make it better.  I will have to show I am wanting to change by making the change and living my life different.

I don't know where this post is coming from, maybe it's because my parents are moving in for a few months while they find their new house.  I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. But, I just felt I needed to get my thoughts out after reading that chapter.  I don't know if the rest of the book will hit me as hard as this one did, but if it did...You'll be hearing more from me!


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