Jan 22, 2011

Good New? Bad News? I Can't Decide...

Last weekend we were out with my parents and my mom asked me if we were notified when someone viewed our profile book or website.  I didn't know the answer and tried to put it out of my mind, but by Thursday I couldn't take it any longer.  I had to know!   So I emailed Dawn our adoption worker.  She called and left a message that she was actually going to give Jesse and I a call for our quarterly update.

I got a hold of her on Friday and she told me that on Nov. 2nd our profile website was viewed.  Dec. 19 and 21 it was shown again.  The 29th our profile book was shown and just recently they shipped our book to the Holland office.  She told me that the Holland birthmother chose a different family.  I asked her about the first 4 and she wasn't sure what was decided with those Moms.

I am excited that it's only been 2 months and our profile has been viewed 5 times, but at the same time, our profile has been seen 5 times and here we still wait.  I know deep down this is good news and ultimately God has a plan, but it's hard to hear also.  I immediately thought, what's wrong with us?  Why don't they like us?

When I got home last night, I looked at our book.  I looked at our website.  There isn't anything I would want to change.  It gives a good look at us and our life together.  I know in my heart all that has happened is good.  But I do have a sense of sadness.  I'm sure it's normal.  I hope it's normal.

I know somewhere there is a baby made for Jesse and me.  The waiting is the hardest part.  I know our time will come.  It just seems so unfair.  I know life's not fair, but after this long of a journey, you begin to wonder is it ever going to end?  Will it ever happen?  The answer is yes and yes, but the waiting STINKS!  UGh!

She also told me that so far this year they have already placed 11-13 children.  Pretty impressive if you ask me!!

So, you tell me, good news or bad news?
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10 comments:

Kim said...

I think it would be almost better not to know. I know myself, and if I were in your shoes, knowing that I had people looking, but that I still was waiting.....I'd drive myslef cazy with "what's wrong with us" scenarios.
I like your outlook on it though....it'll happen wheit issupposed to happen. You will have your baby. :)

lori said...

My daughter placed her baby for adoption. She was shown packets from 3 different couples that had some of the things she was looking for in parents. She said when she pulled one of them out of the folder, as soon as she saw them she knew immediatley they were the ones. I don't think it's about what you did or didn't put in your profile. I think when it's meant to be the Lord touches the birthmom's heart in a way that she can know and feel at peace with her decision. Hope that helps. I know the wait is hard!

Our Journey said...

Hi, I found your blog through a another blog. I just wanted to say that we just adopted 4 months ago. Our birthmother was shown 30 profiles! We are so happy she chose us. Before that we had been waiting 5 months and I always wondered why we had not heard anything.
Just know that your time is coming soon and when its a perfect fit the right birthmother will choose you! God Bless!

Elizabeth and Dan said...

Waiting does STINK!!! I totally agree. My husband and I are in the exact same place after TTC for almost seven years now. We are waiting for legal paperwork on our embryo donation match. Hope your good news comes sooner rather than later. =)

Daisy83808 (Lex) said...

That is a lot of showings and a whole lot of babies placed! That is GREAT news! I chose not to ask, but based on how many babies were placed and their races and how many waiting families there were, I'm guessing our profile was shown probably at least 5 times before we got E. And his birthmom didn't even see our profile! Hang in there. That is great news.

Ashley said...

I would see it as "my baby isn't ready for me yet". God's plan and timing is perfect. He will bring you together with your baby when the time is right. But yes, the waiting does suck!!

Alan Rock Waterman said...

Well, I like you guys, Michelle.

Browniris said...

Thanks so much for the award!

I would see it as good news...I know that it can seem frustrating to not have it be more views, but at least you know that your profile is being seen, and that is a step towards bringing home YOUR baby. :)

Meant to be a mom said...

Michelle, Its great news that your getting views and people are seriously looking into you guys. Don't think about why it didn't work out or why not. You have no idea what those women are looking for. But I like that your staying positive.

Praying for you guys. That perfect baby God has already dedicated to you guys is on its way and before you know it you will be picked. I just know it.

Once Upon A Time said...

I say good news. You know you are getting exposure, so you can be confident that the birthmother of the baby that is just right for you will not miss your profile.