I had a breakdown last night while watching one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill. When I saw the pregnant Hailey, I started sobbing uncontrollably. I kept pleading, "when? when? when?" I am so sad right now. I feel like there's nothing I can do. I feel like a twig ready to snap.
I know in my heart, God has a plan. I trust in Him so very much. I know he provides all things, including miracles. While reading the bible today, it said that if you have prayers that aren't answered, maybe you are not obeying God.
I don't know what else to do here. I have considered changing some things on our adoption profile. But Jesse and I aren't sure.
I am so sad right now. I feel helpless. I feel like it will never happen. I feel very low!
18 comments:
((HUGS)) Some times we go through a rough patch. I think you need to treat yourself to a special treat (whatever makes you happy) or plan something special coming up that you can look forward to. Maybe consider counseling?
Your prayers may not be answered YET, but that doesn't mean this one won't ever be. Just remember that God's perfect timing may not be our own idea of the perfect time. I'll be thinking about you!
Try to hang in there! Just remember that the perfect baby that is meant for your family will come to you when it is the perfect time. (Ya, I know, I hate hearing that too). If you can, (I know it's hard!) try to enjoy this time that you have with Jesse, and try to focus on all the good things/blessings you have instead of dwelling on the one thing you don't have right now. I'll be praying for you! I know this isn't easy, and I'm sorry you are going through it!
I'm so sorry that you're struggling right now! (((HUGS))) I so wish I had an answer for you but I just...don't. Praying for you, Friend!!
I'm so sorry Michelle. I am sending you lots of hugs! I guess you just have to rely on the title of your blog but man, that is taking some major patience on your part! It is OK to let out your frustration! Don't feel guilty about that! I'm just really happy that you've found people that are going through the same thing with you because they really understand and it is a great release to just vent!
I have been following you for a while and I wish that I could offer you words of wisdom, I dont want to say all the things that you dont want to hear like, "it will happen" or in gods time" but know that you are in my prayers and thoughts and I know that one day hopefully sooner then later you will be reading this post while holding a little one in your arms, and you will be laughing at it. :) Stay strong and it will happen.
Have you checked into any counseling? Look into Resolve.org I am a peer group leader and I know how much it helped me...
Oh, sweetie, I know exactly what you mean. ((hugs)) I am so sorry and I pray for God to give you peace. Thinking of you!
makingmemom.blogspot.com
I almost don't know what to say since I pretty much am in the same boat with you :( But I try to cling to the knowledge that our God is good, He does have a plan. And I don't think that you have to be perfect to have your prayers answered - He knows we struggle... I don't understand why its so difficult though. Praying for you.
This post makes me so sad. :( I'm so sorry that you're having a rough time right now. I'm sending up lots of prayers for God to comfort you and give you peace. I agree with Katie about doing something extra special for yourself. You more than deserve it and it just might do the trick at helping you to regroup and feel energized again. Lots of hugs to you!
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. ; ( it breaks my heart. I wish there were some magic words to say to make it all better. I know there are not. All I can say is that I've been there. I know how you feel. I really, really do.
I'd be curious to know what verse you were reading that caused you to think that if your prayers aren't answered, you aren't obeying God.
I firmly believe God answers every prayer. Sometimes, it is with yes, no, not now, wait, etc. Also, God is not into withholding. If the answer right now is anything other than "yes," there is a GOOD reason for that. He only offers something other than "yes" when it trumps our destiny.
He has a bigger, better plan than we can ever even hope to imagine.
"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You. Show me wher eto walk, for I give myself to You." -- Ps. 143:8.
Sometimes I find myself feeling the same things- impatience and restlessness when I'm focusing too much on myself and my situation, or if I am comparing myself to anyone else. Usually a pep talk and some Bible reading will help get me to refocus. Remember He sees the whole picture and someday you'll look back and know that it was all worth it! Praying for you!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope it is your turn very, very soon!
It is SO HARD waiting, day after day, month after month, year after year. I completely understand!! I promise you that your time is coming and this low period will be a long-forgotten memory very soon. I saw someone else suggested counseling - I think this is a great suggestion! I did it for a while after our first adoption fell through and it helped IMMENSELY.
I'm here if you need an understanding ear!
I love you girl. Please hang in there! Miracles do and will happen! We need to get together for dinner or lunch or whatever you want!!!
Kami
My heart is breaking for you sweetie. I wish I could take this pain away for you. I'm ALWAYS here for you. (((HUGS)))
I'm so glad you had the courage to share this!! I have felt the same way but keep it all bottled up - which is never good. Know that so many people are praying for you. You already know God has a plan for you and the trials that you are enduring will only make you stronger. Keep your chin up when you can and cry, scream, and beat up pillows when you need to. Love you my friend!
Hey Michelle,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling low. I know this waiting time must be excruciating for you right now. Just want you to know that you're in my prayers. Be encouraged today, friend, and know that you're being thought of and prayed for. I hope your wait won't be much longer. ((HUGS))
I noticed Sarah, Abraham's wife was barren and then her daughter-in-law, Isaac's wife was barren. I didn't see anything having to do with sin causing their barrenness. I have seen a number of times in my life where couples adopt and then afterwards are able to bare their own children and I can see you're doing all you can. My best friend went through the same thing and one day God allowed her to have a child. I want to pray: I break the curse of barrenness off of your life in Jesus' name. All curses were broken when Jesus died on the cross. I speak fertility and pregnancy over your life and declare God's word, "Be fruitful and multiply." Know you're not alone. Bless you.
I noticed Sarah, Abraham's wife was barren and then her daughter-in-law, Isaac's wife was barren. I didn't see anything having to do with sin causing their barrenness. I have seen a number of times in my life where couples adopt and then afterwards are able to bare their own children and I can see you're doing all you can. My best friend went through the same thing and one day God allowed her to have a child. I want to pray: I break the curse of barrenness off of your life in Jesus' name. All curses were broken when Jesus died on the cross. I speak fertility and pregnancy over your life and declare God's word, "Be fruitful and multiply." Know you're not alone. Bless you.
Post a Comment