So...

I called the agency yesterday to see if we could start working on our profile book and our birth mom letter. I finally heard back today and she said yes. So on Thursday or Friday I'm going to the agency to take a look at some books and get an idea what we want to do with ours. Does anyone have any ideas? Also, does anyone have any good references for birth mom letters? I sit down to write and I have TOTAL writer's block!!

And, Annette at the agency told us we should have an adoption worker assigned to us by the end of the week!! YAY!!! Say prayers PLEASE that everything continues to progress! I'm so excited!!!

OH MY!

So I was on Tiffany's blog catching up. She had a post of this song. I have never heard it before, and I was very apprehensive about playing it. It's by Kellie Coffey. Oh my. If you have never seen this before, make sure you have some tissues. I am still crying. It's so true though to anyone who has ever dreamed, longed or wished for children. I would certainly die for that...

Done!

I hate when I get on these update my blog kicks. This has seriously consumed majority of my day. But don't feel too bad for me. I did have time to read half a book I'm reading while lounging in the pool. What book is that you may ask? Well, as I stated in my previous post, I was reading a very inspirational book, a biography on Tony Dungy. Well, in between my thoughtful reads, I read some quick, easy, funny reads. Okay, okay...I'm reading Tori Spelling's Mommywood. I read her first book sTori Telling and I loved it. She is very funny. Don't think any different of me. I'm telling you funny, VERY funny! Okay, I've got to go walk the dogs before the sun goes down. See ya!

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm!

My husband has been listening to Tony Dungy's program on the Christian radio station on his way home from work. He asked me to get his book from the library for him. Of course there were two books to choose from, and I didn't know which one Jess wanted, so I checked out both. It turns out he wanted to read his book entitled, Uncommon. I started reading the other book Quiet Strength, more of a biography of his life.

This man is quite an inspirational man and I highly recommend reading Quiet Strength and getting Uncommon for your husbands. Uncommon is a book for men to show them how to be "uncommon" in today's society and be the best man and Christian God intended us to be.

On to my point...I was skimming through uncommon and there was a quote in there that got me to thinking. The quote is "Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path." ~Author Unknown

I feel as though this is God "speaking" to me through this quote. So many times when we were wondering what path we would take to begin our family, I felt I was being pressured to do what majority of people were doing. Although, I kept feeling God's quiet whisper telling me to adopt. I knew I didn't want to do anything in way of IVF for a few reasons...1) Our chances were so low, and it was such a HUGE financial burden, I couldn't risk everything for such a low percentage. 2) All those medications, shots and drugs scared the living daylights out of me. We had worked so hard to get ourselves "clean" through natural approaches, I didn't want to mess my body up with all that stuff. (I'm not saying I don't agree with IVF, it just didn't seem right for us.) I know that embryo adoption will require some medication to assist with the medical process, but according to our doctor, it would be a lot less. I am comfortable with the medication I will have to take in order to do this.

After learning about embryo adoption, I was scared too. It was so new and in a way I felt like I was cheating by wanting to take that path. I had a hard time coming to realize that embryo adoption is ADOPTION. We will be adopting a snowbaby and also (hopefully) be given the opportunity to bond with our baby from the VERY beginning.

This quote helped to realize some people may not understand our choice. They felt we were "giving up" or we were doing what they seemed odd. I learned that the only choice that matters is the one that we have prayed on and feel right with God. Embryo adoption is new, but it is a path that Jesse and I can help pave the way for other people. I am excited to start this journey and I am in love with this quote. I can't wait to see where this un-beaten path will lead!!!

Beer...You are not my friend anymore!

So, as I mentioned yesterday, we went to the Tiger's game last night. After AF leaving me, I thought I'd have a beer while enjoying the game. I had one at the game, and maybe 3 sips of Jesse's beer. We went out to eat after and I had one more beer. So, at the most, I had a total of 3 beers.

This morning I got up, went to church and helped with baptisms. (That will be a new post entirely on it's own later!) I was fine. I came home and I feel like POOP! My head hurts. I have slept on the couch for 3 hours. All in all, I am feeling like someone smacked me in the head and is pushing my temples together.

I really want to go to the gym or do a P90X video, but all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch all the Project Runways I need to catch up on.

So, as I come within the month countdown to my 31st birthday, I am realizing that beer, my old friend, is no longer a friend of mine. I think I will have to put an end to this relationship!

Happy ICLW!

It's been a LONG time since I participated in ICLW. I'm so excited to be back. I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be a lot more adoption blogs out there this time around. I am so excited, I even found another blog of someone who is doing embryo adoption. She is due August 3oth, I'm so glad I found her!

For those of you who are new to my blog, here is our story in a nutshell (and I've got to make it quick, because we're going to the Tiger's game and I'm supposed to be getting ready!! oops!) Anyway...

My husband and I were married in August of 2003. We wanted to wait until I had started my Masters to begin trying, so we were prepared. The following April, I spoke to my OB/GYN, he told me I looked healthy, throw out the birth control and I should be pregnant in no time...

We saw a urologist on her recommendation, but he didn't give us anything to work with. Other than a surgery could help or hurt us. Great advice!

The following May we went to see our first RE. She told us our cause was extremely low sperm and our only option would be to use sperm donor, because my husband didn't have healthy, viable sperm. Immediately afterward, she asked when we wanted to schedule our IVF. Needless to say, we never saw her again.

We tried for the next year and a half doing natural approaches. Diet changes, acupuncture, supplements, herbs, standing on my head. We seriously tried EVERYTHING! We went back in May of 2009 to see a different RE. I loved her! I hoped beyond hope that something improved.

Unfortunately it didn't. My husband was adament against sperm donors and adoption. We did a lot of praying, soul-searching, crying and mourning the loss of our biological child. After all of this, we learned that DNA does not equal a family and changed our focus to adoption. In January of 2010, we went to an adoption meeting at our agency and learned about embryo adoption. We felt this was the best of both worlds.

We are beginning the process of adoption. We are hoping for a successful embryo adoption, but are also continuing down the domestic path as well. We feel God will open the path He deems the best for us, but for now, we are waiting for an adoption worker to call so we can get this ball rolling!! HAPPY ICLW!!

Next!

Well, Tuesday was 2 weeks since we turned in our paperwork and if you remember correctly. The lady that has been helping us at Bethany told us they were running behind due to being short an adoption worker. She told me to hold tight for a couple weeks. Well a couple to me is 2 and 2 weeks was up on Tues, so I called today. She told me she didn't have anything new to tell me, but thanks for calling and she will double check with her supervisor. She then told me that she knows for sure that we are next on the list! So, hopefully she'll call back tomorrow and give me a little bit more to go on, but for now, I'm in love with the words, "NEXT!"

Thanks Megan!!

So a few weeks back I won a DVD from Megan at Infertile Myrtle. I did the workout today. How relaxing! I loved it. I used to do yoga a few years back. I forgot how wonderfully stress relieving it was. Thanks Megan!! I don't know if it will work, but I feel ready to take on the day!

Time Flies!

Geez. I'm sitting here on the eve of our anniversary. It's hard to believe that tomorrow, August 9, 2010, Jesse and I will have been married for 7 years! Where has the time gone? It's bitter-sweet. Heck, thinking back to the day we got married, I thought by our 7th anniversary we'd have the family complete. Instead, I sit here the night before our anniversary thinking wow, we have been through SOOOO much in the past 7 years.

I never in my wildest dreams would have thought Jesse and I would have had so much trouble to start our family. Yet, looking back, I know everything we have been through has been part of the plan. Not my plan of course, but His plan.

I am so glad that the night before my anniversary, I am sitting here, MORE in love with my husband than the day before I married him. He is truly my soul mate and my best friend. I know that all we have been through has made us stronger and there is nothing that can ever break that. We have been through hell and back and here we are still together.

So instead of looking back at the past 7 years and worrying about what is missing...I am looking back on the last 7 years with gratitude for my husband and all that we have been through. I know that day we bring our baby home, however it may happen, will be worth all the heartache and pain we have been through.


This is one of my favorite wedding pictures. I can't help but think Jesse is saying, "Dear God, what have I gotten myself into?!" :0)

Let The Waiting Begin!!!

So...On our way down to our RELAXING vacation, we stopped at Bethany and dropped the rest of our paperwork off. It was a great relief to finally have it out of my hands and into the agency! I was still, however, missing my @#$%@ Social Security card, but I told her I would get it to her when I got back from the Carolinas. (The letter SS assured me would be okay, was not! Go figure!) We didn't even make it to Toledo when Annette at the agency called to tell me that the letter I wrote for Jesse for his employment letter would not suffice. Curt, Jesse's partner, would have to write it.

Being that this was my STRESS FREE and RELAXATION vacation, I didn't let it get to me. As soon as we arrived in SC, I sent Curt an email explaining what needed to be done. In typical guy fashion, he didn't start working on it until the following Sunday as Jess and I were on our drive home. Well, all things said and done...When I got home, there was an envelope from my favorite place, Social Security, AND the letter. YIPPEE!!

Tuesday after my movie date with my class, I rolled down to Madison Heights and dropped the FINAL paperwork off. This time Annette looked at everything and said, "An adoption worker would be in touch within a few days." I wanted to shout from the mountain tops and skip to my car, but I refrained from looking like a complete nerd and casually walked to my car with a humongous smile on my face. That bubble was slightly burst, however, when I got home. Annette had left a message that unfortunately everyone had turned in their paperwork around the time we had as well and all the adoption workers were busy. This was a slight disappointment, but it could be good. That means I have the next two weeks to get my classroom in order and get my school stuff ready, so whenever they phone, I would be ready! So, here we go...Let the waiting begin!!

We also heard from Bethany's embryo lady in Grand Rapids. She informed me of the online "chats" I have to do for part of my "training", so I am actually starting one right now. Okay, it's starting. I'll write some more in a bit!! :)