Jan 10, 2009

Another one bites the dust...

Well, yet another friend has stepped into a realm of life I wonder if I will ever see. Holly had her baby last night. He was two weeks early, but everything is fine. Mom is great, baby is great, but Shell is not so hot. I don't know why it's hitting me so hard. I mean she was 9 months pregnant and in two weeks, regardless, a baby would come. I guess I was counting on those two weeks to help prepare me that another friend would become a mother. For two more weeks, I had a friend who was still on my side...not a mother.

Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic for her, I am going to see her and Christian and Chris and I'm sure the whole gang. But, I'm sitting here wondering why things come so easy for others, yet so difficulty for the select few. Just last year Holly was a newlywed, now 3 weeks after her 1 year anniversary she gets to add the amazing title of mother. While I have been married for 5 1/2 years and wonder when I get to add that title to my name.

I know that I can't compare myself to others, and I am extremely grateful and happy for what I have, but it doesn't stop me from feeling a loss and honestly, feeling left out. All of my close high school friends, with the exception of one, is a mother. I watch all of them taking care of their children, talking about their children and I can either talk about my students or my four legged furry "babies."

I know the path we are on is the right one for us right now. We are giving the acupuncture and the supplements til March. Obviously I want to conceive without having to go the route of reproductive endocrinologist, but it's looking more and more like that will be our only option. I am very hopeful that 2009 is the year that miracle is granted...I guess time will tell.


Christina said...

Is this the HOlly that stood up in your wedding?? I'm glad that you have a plan in place. Just give it a chance and no that you do have a plan B. I'll have to ask you about that acupuncture and what that's like..

Just Another Infertile said...

Hi Michelle!

I can relate to your post on so many levels. Almost all my friends got pregnant and had babies before me. It was especially hard because we all got married within months of each other and we could share all those plans and details. I could not participate in their discussion of children. I'd try and I was interested, but it hurt too much. I LOL a little over you being able to only talk about your kids at school or your fur-babies, because I did this too. At one point, when I was comparing discipline of a baby to discipline of my puppy, I had to stop myself. I was afraid I sounded crazy.

I hope 2009 brings you all the happiness you deserve. I know you don't want to go the RE route too soon, but do know that they can be a tremendous source of answers and help sometimes. It is an undertaking though, so take all the time you need before embarking on that journey.