Mar 15, 2010

Freaking Out---

So we are still in the very BEGINNING process of our embryo adoption. We have done 2 of the 3 beginning steps before we complete the preliminary application. We are just waiting on our doctor's appointments. Jesse's is a physical basically saying that he has no conditions that would jeopardize his ability to be a parent. Mine is basically the same thing, but adds that there is no reason why my RE should believe I couldn't carry a child to term. Okay those have been scheduled; Jess- March 25th and me-April 1st. What an April Fool's that will be?!

So now I'm starting to freak out a little. Am I sure this is what I want? What if I hate pregnancy? Could this really happen for us? What if I'm fat? What if I'm a nervous wreck for the whole 9 months? What if we don't match up with a decent family? What if...? What if...? What if...?

I guess for so long this has been a distant it's so close, it could possibly happen. I actually feel like a "normal" person now. I could really be pregnant!!! My dreams of being a mom could really be coming to life.

I'm still waiting for the other shoe to fall! Is that crazy?!


BB said...

Pregnancy can be a blissful journey or a physical n emotional joy ride! Besides the unconventional journey that we IFs have to go through, when it happens it could be a shock treatment, because till then you are so focused towards succeeding in this mission! Try to take it one step at a time - one day at a time. I hope things work out well for you. Good Luck!!

Courtney said...

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop too. I think that's just the life of an infertile, unfortunately. I'm thinking about you and praying for you. You will be a wonderful mom! :-)

Megan said...

Wow! Congrats! Lots of prayers as you guys move forward. I can't wait to see that you're pregnant!! =) I think if I were in your shoes I'd be having a lot of the same feelings and thoughts!

Christina said...

Oh my! So excited for you. I agree with BB - one step at a time and one day at a time. You will be surprised as to how well you will adapt to some of the things you are worried about. You may not think you can do it now, but at some point, you won't have a choice and will have to adapt.

Hillary said...

It sounds so normal to have such mixed emotions!! All of this is such a process. So glad you have some of the preliminary stuff taken care of or scheduled. I'm so excited to walk this journey with you!!

twondra said...

I'm thinking of you sweetie! I, too, have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's completely normal I think. :) (((HUGS)))

Dagny said...

This is very exciting! I can imagine the feeling, we all haven't had the best of luck in the department. But keep on going! You will be great. :)

And an awesome Mom! :D


Meant to be a mom said...

You will absolutely love pregnancy, I have no doubt about that.
You will feel huge, but you can control how truly big you get (if you don't pig out like I did). You will worry constantly but still be excited and happy at the same time.

I'm so excited for you, this is such great news. The family that you will match up with will be amazing because God is behind this and he is watching out for you and your baby.

My prayers are with you. I'm so excited and happy for you to start the final steps of the process.

Stacey said...

I think it's totally normal to have questions like that and even doubts. When you've been waiting so long and suddenly it starts to become a reality, it's hard to get used to the idea. Allow yourself to think this can really happen, though! I hope the next steps fall into place and you'll soon be well on your way!