Welcome Home!

What an amazing vacation we had in Myrtle Beach. The weather wasn't stellar, but it was much better than what we had at home! :) We did a lot of relaxing and just enjoying each other's company. On the way down, Jesse's partner called and asked if he could join us (my mom had an extra unit she tried getting rid of before we left.) We said we had room, so the more the merrier. They came down later in the week.

We talked a little bit on the way down and I had my assortment of adoption books I brought for the reading. I read one of them. It's not like I am totally against adoption, I just don't know how you EVER get over the wish, dream, hope that one day you will have your own biological baby. I told Jesse my concerns and said I just don't understand how adoption is much different than donor sperm. Although with donor sperm, I would still get the opportunity to be pregnant. He told me he wasn't totally against it, we just need to do research and figure out what's best for us. He also said, "you do realize we will only have one child." That struck like another shot through the heart. I know I shouldn't be selfish, damn, I'm only trying for one now and look at all the drama we entailed, but only one kid. That's something we'll obviously have to talk about further at a later date.

We had some good discussions and decided that either way; donor sperm or adoption, wouldn't be an option (what a poet am I?! :) ) until we paid off debts and saved some money. Looking like a year or so. I guess what I'm trying to say is we had a lot of good discussions, but still a lot of questions.

I also got an email back from my doctor and she said that Jesse's hernia operation concern held some merit. She sent us paperwork for Jess to get his hormones checked out and another referral for a urologist. Is it crazy that I'm hoping that something could be done with this??? What if we find out that his surgery is the cause of his infertility? What if they can fix it? See, I'm still left with a bazillion questions, but I know whatever happens, God will get us through. We'll see?!

Thanks guys for all your support. It truly means the world to me. I'm so blessed to have found each one of you and I couldn't imagine going through this without you!! Thanks!!!