Fostering...

To become foster parents, yes or no??? At church for the first few times we went, there was an ad that families are needed to be foster parents. This called to me and I tried to ignore it. Then the ad stopped appearing in the newsletter and I thought that to be a sign from God saying, "no, it's not for you." I kept praying for an answer, a clear answer. So, on Easter Sunday, low and behold, the ad was back.

I talked to Jess about it and told him that I think God is telling me this is what He's asking us to do right now. He said he needed more time, as I did too. This is terrifying!!! However, yesterday, I was showing Jess another infertility blog that I found and he said, "that's weird you showed me that today. I was going to tell you to get some info about the fostering thing this week."

I about fell to the floor. As much as this excites me. It scares the hell out of me. I know we would be awesome parents whatever way God brings kids into our lives, but this is scary... I know us, when I call for info tomorrow, it will more than likely follow through with another call that says, "Sign us up."

As much as this scares me, I know this is what we need. It will help me to deal with waiting for us to save the money needed for the procedures that we will have to endure to have our own biological baby. I'm trying to be super positive too and hoping that when we start with our new RE on the 7th, she will tell us that an IUI would be an option for us. I guess we'll just wait and see and I'll let you know what happens when I call the lady tomorrow! YIKES!!!

What a Beautiful Day!?

Today was so much fun. I went with my aunt for my little cousin's field trip to the zoo. It was such a beautiful day today in Michigan. Sunny and about 70 degrees, who could ask for more? My aunt and I had a blast chatting, laughing and directing children. It's so much more relaxing to go on a field trip when you're not the one in charge! :) Sammie was excited to see me and it was fun seeing her classmates and her classroom at the end of the day.

Along our journey through the park, I started recapping the old Detroit Zoo commercial that anyone who is from the Detroit area remembers from the early 80s. We had a great day laughing and just enjoying life. Here's a bit of history for anyone who might remember! :)

LOVE THIS!!!

At Easter service, they sang this song and I was in tears. This song has touched my heart! It just makes me think that no matter what happens to me in this journey, one thing remains, "I'll be found in You!" God will be there to pick me up, lift me up and help me see what He has in store for me! Enjoy!~



Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

You make all things new

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Feeling Better

Our Easter was lovely. We went to church with my mother in law and sis in law. They don't do church, so it was nice to have them there with us. It was nice. We went over there later on, had dinner and played some Euchre and relaxed.

I've been a tad bit crabby lately. I'm not too sure why. I had some drama with my sister and a friend, but that's a LONG story and I really don't feel like getting into that right now, maybe later. Jesse told me the awesome news that his old "partners" gave us one more parting gift. Not only did they take all the money Jesse invested into the partnership without offering an ounce, they filled out the tax forms so that we couldn't even write off the loss. They are such crooks and I have to believe that karma will get them. It's just so frustrating. I'm just amazed how some people can live with themselves when all they use their lives for is badness~!! UGH!

I don't know why I've been so crabby. I guess I am starting to freak out about our next appointment with our new RE for a second opinion. I am hoping for so much with this appointment. I am hoping that all our "natural" approaches have made some improvements. I would love to hear her say that an IUI would be doable as opposed to the dreaded IVF with all the drugs and MONEY that we don't' have. Wouldn't that be fabulous.

I am trying, with all my might, to keep a positive outlook and not be so glum. The appointment isn't until May 7, so I've got some time. Just trying to start the warm and fuzzy wonderful thoughts early. It couldn't hurt, right??

SICK...UGH!

So, I am sick. Not just scratchy throat, my head hurts sick, I'm sick. I am NOT a great sick person. I woke up this morning with a 101 fever and thought I would go in and do sub plans. My husband said if you're going in to do that, you should probably just go in. Great advice hubby! I got to work to hear everyone say, "you look and sound like poop!" So I got my sub plans ready and was out of there by lunch.

By the time I got home my fever had dropped, thanks Tylenol, to 99. I went to my doctor's appointment and thought I was going to die. I was shaking, my eyes were watery, my head felt like it was going to pop off my head and when I cough, look out! On the way home, I realized I probably should've had someone take me, as I felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel.

I came home, took my meds and went to sleep. I slept for a few hours and woke up shivering, despite the fact that I had on sweats, slippers, t-shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, sweatshirt and 2 blankets! I took some motrin this time and it wasn't helping. Finally after I ate an apple, I began to sweat, sweat, sweat. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to take some more motrin for a good nights sleep. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morn. I heard that everyone who's had this nasty thing has lasted awhile. Please, let me feel better NOW!!! I HATE BEING sick!

NKOTB!

Well, this past weekend, my friend and I went on a little road trip and saw our childhood favorite group...New Kids on the Block!

We had so much fun! This is the second time in less than 6 months that we saw them. We saw them this time at a much smaller venue. Wait til you see my pics and see how close we were. Donnie was so close to me!! Yum, yum! It was a great time. Too fun! :)

I LOVE DONNIE! :)

Amazing Video

Okay, I was away this weekend and now I find myself catching up with all my blogger friends. I found this video through a friend of a friend and it TOTALLY sums up the last four years. Jesse and I have been through a lot and seeing something like this makes me feel like we are not alone! It is truly amazing.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

New outlook

So, my lovely "friend" stopped by for a week long visit yesterday and I wasn't sad. No siree! I read this acupuncture book about different things we can do: diet, acupoints, massages, etc. Well, normally for a week leading up to Aunt Flo, you can't come within 5 feet of the "girls" or I'm crying in pain. Normally the day she visits equals uncontrollably horrible cramps. Well, I'm happy to report neither of these horrible thing happened to me this month! YEY!! Boobs didn't hurt, and not even the slightest crampola!

I am not looking at my monthly visitor as a pain, instead I am looking at it as a blessing. Some women aren't as fortunate as I am. I have a regular period and I'm doing things that have erased some of my horrible symptoms. Things could be worse, but I'm not thinking of it. I'm only looking at the bright side.

We got a referral for a RE that my aunt visited and had success with. We have our first appointment for our second opinion for May 7th! Things are getting better. Slowly but surely. I have hope. I KNOW it will happen for us. It's in His hands now. I'm relaxing and enjoying the ride!